Have you heard about a saying like, “There’s a light after darkness”? In analogy with such saying if there are words referring to failure certainly there are words referring to success. The question is can you consider yourself successful if someone has already given it to you? If it is already given the compliments will not be addressed to you since you had done no effort to achieve something. In other words, success is the result of many struggles and trials!
Consider an example for dummies below:
A young boy is sitting in front of the table with an apple on top given by his mother.
Can you say that the boy has acquired the apple? Of course yes! Can you say that he was successful to produce that apple on top of the table? Nope! His mother did it.
Can you say that his mother was successful in getting that apple from the market and put on top of the table for his son? Absolutely yes! In addition to this story, his mother had broken her promise many times before she managed to fulfill it. Well, I will not elaborate further why she failed many times.
The said situation above is just a very shallow illustration of failure and success but I would consider as one of the practical exemplars.
I have written this article but it does not necessarily mean that I have already achieved my main goal in life. I am still struggling and as I go on I have realized some points that really affect my objectives. Bear in mind that everybody is still pursuing our own goals while we are still alive. Even those who seemed had reached the peak of their career it does not end there. Once you have already reached the top it does not mean that you will not fail anymore.
The hardest thing in life is how you maintain your success. It would be possible that you are successful in financial aspects but have you considered your personal happiness? Are you happy with your life in general? In other perspectives perhaps we could say that we have achieved something but on the other hand you might be forgotten other things in your life. Financially successful is useless if you do not have a happy family. There are individuals that could be considered financially victorious but have broken relationship and turned out to be defeated with regards to marriage life. Let us say for example, their children are drug dependents and the eldest had committed suicide. Our goal is goals and cannot be only one target. Do not just focus in one goal, try to balance and interrelates our short-time goals to our main goal.
I have watched the movie entitled I am Sam. He is an autistic father to his daughter. As she reaches seven years old the social welfare has made a request to federal court for waiving Sam’s rights of custody. Based on IQ analysis on Sam he has a mind of a seven year-old child. At seven she will be smarter than him. There are worries that he cannot fulfill his obligation being a good father. In the middle of the story I was touched by the successful lady lawyer who provided a pro bono for the case to defend Sam. Sam may not be financially successful neither career champ because of his mental retardation but the emotional part to me was about the relationship of his legal counsel to her own family. Despite of having a good job as a lawyer she has never been successful to fulfill her obligation to her husband and to her son. She has always no quality time with her own family. She was actually envied to the good relationship of Sam with his daughter. That’s the main reason why she pursued the case about the custody.
There are lots of possible causes of our failure depending on what we want to achieve. Here are some common mistakes and reasons why we always get failed:
1. Misjudgment – Before we proceed with our plan we have miscalculated the risks.
2. Unfocused – There are factors that affect our objective. It diverts our attention which is not aligned to what we want to reach. This is a common issue while we are struggling to reach the top.
3. Impulsiveness – Sometimes we want to achieve something without thinking that could lead us to a very difficult situation. Careful analysis must take place before making any decisions.
4. Wrong direction – You thought that it was right but you are wrong.
5. Unorganized – The ladder to your success has hiccups. Avoid those unnecessary things which cannot contribute to your main goal to be achieved. This is about mismanagement issue.
6. Wrong priorities -- Do not take by any chances what we want at the moment in exchange on what we want to achieve in life or our main goal.
7. No passion – If you do not have desire certainly you will not achieve your goals. The heart is very important in any struggles to success.
Here are some inspiring words from Edward de Bono of Innovation and Creative Thinking Guru:
“If you are not big enough to lose, you are not big enough to win.”
“There are defeats more triumphant than victories.”
“The only real failure in life is the failure to try.”
“And how often do we have to be reminded that, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
